Mahmoud Hamandinejad's House Gets Nuked, All Within Die.

Mahmud Hamandinajad was killed today along with all his household when his house dissipated in a mushroom cloud, putting all of Teheran in a decidedly bad mood.

The mystery surrounding the explosion has yet to be unearthed, but some facts have come to the surface: A few weeks ago, Hamandinajad had become tenser then usual when Iran's secret police informed him that the seed of Yigal Amir, Israel's most famous prisoner, was to be transferred over to his new bride. This piece of news created great anxiety in Hamadinajad's heart, for it corroborated the message of an ancient scroll dating to the time of Daniel the Prophet which was in Hamandinajad's possession. The scroll states that in the end of times a man who wields a fire-stick will attempt to save the Jewish people, but will instead be imprisoned and unable to procreate. But a new magic will arise which will enable him to have a child without union. It is this seed which will bring about the redemption of the Jews and the destruction of their enemies. Concerned with his fate, and the fate of his people, Hamandinajad embarked on a plan to nuke the Israeli prison which holds Yigal Amir.

Ahamandinajad was planning to fire a nuclear-tipped Jihad3 missiles at Israel on March 4th - a date randomly selected by computer. In the weeks beforehand, however, a delegation of American Reform Rabbis for Homosexual Marriage were touring Iran on a goodwill mission. This delegation was headed by a certain Dr. Trimbobler who curried the favor of Iran's top echelons, and though she wore a burka throughout the trip, she generally found favor in all who saw her. In fact, she was shown many of Iran's secret installations, including the silo sites for the Jihad 3.

Unbeknownst to her fellow travelers, and certainly to Iranian officials, Trimbobler was on a secret mission code named "Nahafochu" for the underground organization "Jews For Jihad," whose mission is to turn Muslim Jihad in on itself. (She once famously quipped "If they want to commit suicide, let them really commit suicide.") Upon entrance to the Jihad 3 installation, Trimbobler faked a broken heel, and proceeded to access the coordinates of the missile target. "I had only seconds to do it," Trimbobler said, "and my life was in danger, but then I heard Ilan Ramon's voice talking to me as if from the heavens, and he said to me 'Use the force, Larrisa, and as G-d guided me to Osirak, so too, He will guide you. Fear not, for the force will be with you - always!" Trimbobler was able to change the coordinates without being detected.

In the days prior to the launch date, Hamandinajad was noticeably perturbed, awaiting anxiously to fire the deadly arsenal. His only solace was listening to Wagner on his specially designed Triangular earphones, and drawing anti-Semitic cartoons for a local daily. Hamandinjad dreamt of the day when he would be paraded on the main streets of the world and heralded as "Master of the Universe." If he could kill the Messiah, then he would rule the world, and become even more powerful then his heros Hitler, Khomeini, and Gargamel.

When the fateful day came, it began badly when a metal bucket came crashing on Hamandinajad's head. A household servant named Cherbona, who was not in the house when it exploded, told reporters that the bucket was filled with manure from the sheep that the Hamandinajads kept on the second floor. "Muhmud's wife, Ichsa, was cleaning the stalls of Mahmud's favorite sheep, and the bucket simply fell on his head" said Cherbona.

Hamandinajad was not to be dissuaded, though, and was readying to depress the Red Button which he had installed in his own house so that he could watch the whole thing on CNN from his own couch. He gathered all his ten children around himself and prayed out loud, "Oh Allah, you know we are a backwards people, a people bent on violence and world domination, please help us destroy the Messiah!!!"

At 127 AM, a gigantic fiery explosion ripped through downtown Teheran with its epicenter being at Hamandinajad's home. It seems as though a certain Jihad 3 missile had gone off course. The light generated by the nuclear explosion was so great that it illuminated the night sky of Israel 2,000 kilometers away. The Jews had light and joy that night and great celebrations were held. The president of Israel, Baruch Marzel, issued pardons to many Jewish criminals who promised to do Teshuva. Yigal Amir was released and promptly held a massive chuppah at Kikar Malchai Yisrael (Rabin Square) for him and his bride Dr. Larissa Trimbobler.