NOT Wishing You a Shana Tova
My inbox is filling up with a lot of spam, and it's really annoying.
The subject is invariably the same: Shana Tova.
I've been hearing from acquaintances with whom I haven't spoken for years who probably hit "send" to everyone in their contact list; PR companies for whom it'll be a good year if they get some press out of the people on their mailing list; random people whose names I don't recognize. My particular favorites are those from old flames who take advantage of the Jewish New Year to reconnect with me. (Many singles out there use the holiday as an excuse to flirt - you know who you are...) It's a Rosh HaShana spam fest, and it's doubly annoying when they include files or pictures over 1 MB. Stop cramming my computer!
These Shana Tova greetings are impersonal and disingenuous. I know the majority of these Jewish spammers don't really mean to wish me a good year. They're being polite, getting over a formality, and kissing tails (and not the heads). But it's not polite. It's actually very rude. If you want to wish me a happy new year, personalize the greeting so that I know you mean it, send it to ME only, or else end up in my junk folder.
So this Rosh HaShanah I'm not wishing anyone a fake "good year", but I will wish everyone who reads this an original, thoughtful new year's greeting inspired by Britney Spears. There's been a lot of media buzz over her allegedly failed performance at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards (VMAs). I agree the performance lacked her usual power and verve, even though the ex-pop goddess always holds a special place in my heart.
And so, to all my readers and friends, may you be like the head: like Britney's performance at the 2000 VMA’s: full of passion, strength, beauty, certainty, power, focus, concentration, successful and lots of fun.
[Editor's note: Be forewarned. Britney is not wearing much at all in either video.]
Click here to view
And may you not be like the tail: like Britney's failed performance at the 2007 VMA’s: unfocused, uncertain, inauthentic, stumbling, floppy, and lazy.
Click here to view
I wish Britney Spears and the Jewish people a year of healing, self-knowledge, personal growth, inner strength and some sanity (including yours truly).
Labels: Jewish Holidays, Orit, Rants
posted by Pinchas @ 3:00 PM
4 Comments:
At September 11, 2007 at 10:33 PM ,
גיל רונן said...
Orit Shana Tova!
I will take a long path to a short point:
The Sex Police recently announced the establishment of a "sexual harrassment patrol" that will frequent bars and pubs and encourage women to file complaints against men.
This is classic feminist faux-morality: encourage women to look for sex in alcoholic public environments, and at the same time terrorize the men who try to hook up with them.
It basically is telling us that sex is bad, because relations between the sexes are such that men tend to initiate contact more than women do (women initiate passively of course). Any such overt "initiation" can be seen as harrassment - that is the whole point of these laws - to keep the men trapped and guessing. Basically, it says sex is bad, and blurs the border between sexual relationships and violence.
Real Jewish morality says: don't get in that situation to begin with. It also says there is nothing at all wrong with sexual relationships between men and women. All it asks is that there be a separation between the private and public domains.
Kumah blog is a public domain where people of both sexes talk in a non-sexually charged atmosphere. If Britney is being sexually suggestive and half-naked, her videos do not belong here. That is my opinion.
I do not ask that the post be removed, if only because that would entail the removal of my wonderful talkback.
(You see, I'm not very modest either. But my kind of immodesty is harder to regulate...).
At September 12, 2007 at 12:50 AM ,
Malkah said...
Shalom Orit,
It's good to have you back - Shanah Tovah (notice - personalized!)! I have to tell you, my friend, your post made me pretty sad. Granted, I also don't like mass mail. And I don't know who your friends are. But I hate to think that the mass well wishes I receive during this time are code for "I don't care about you/ I'm trying to fulfill my technical obligations/ I'm purposefully trying to annoy you/ I'm trying to spark a new romantic relationship with you (can you really DO THAT through mass mail? I thought that only worked for the people who are touting certain famous blood flow medications and for subject headings stating "I'm bored - and 21 years old").
You know what I find MORE offensive than the New Year mass mailings? Hoochy pop sexuality that's meant to mass-hormonify/desensitize everyone who's exposed to it, performed by strung out negligent moms.
In any event, you awesome, awesome lady - may you be blessed with health, success, happiness, inspiration, and an eye toward the good. I hope everything your heart desires will be fulfilled!!
At September 12, 2007 at 9:53 AM ,
Orit said...
Hey folks,
Thanks for your sincere wishes.
I have been asked to blog here for a while. Now when I do, I'm too suggestive. Let Kumah be sexually pluralistic...! I know the messages were meant with love, and so is this one.
Remember our discussion (Malkah) that Judaism has to be sexy? I know a lot of people don't think Britney is sexy (she is not anymore, she used to be, in my opinion...), and I think people who follow pop culture will appreciate my message.
I meant it sincerely because I really was an early fan of Brit and appreciated her girl power.
As someone who left Orthodoxy, there is nothing more annoying than tznius police. It makes people RUN...
Sorry if I offended anyone, but I won't retract my message.
That said (Malkah) I read and loved the book you gave me. You too are an awesome, awesome lady filled with massive strength and wisdom. May this year filled with a new precious gift to whom you may transfer your and Yishai's incredible values and ahavat yisrael.
At September 15, 2007 at 7:45 PM ,
גיל רונן said...
Orit,
Like I said in another talkback, there is now a sexual harrassment police in Israel. A real one. So it seems one needs to choose his police. The tznius "police" makes demands of both sexes (and the law, in the end, is much harsher with the men). The "sexual harrassment" police is an anti male sexuality police, pure and simple. It really serves only one purpose: to police the new kind of sexuality, in which women are in full control and the men are their meek servants, while both live in a world that is one big decadent wh**ehouse (along with their role models Madonna and Britney, who by the way was photographed "going commando" again after the VMA Awards). I doubt you find it very annoying though, or even give it much thought.
As for Zionism being sexy - of course it's sexy! There is nothing sexier than an F-15I swooping down on its target, or a sayeret stealthily taking out a terrorist and returning home safely.
If you are thinking sexy like Tzipi Livni thinks sexy - well, then, I beg to disagree. Yishai once wrote an article about Livni's "sexy" Zionism which was named "Bikini Brand or Holy Land": Link.
Shana Tova! And you know, orthodoxy isn't really that bad! "Ortho" just means "straight"!
from Gil, an Orthodox-lite Jew
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